Made Up My Mind

In last week's modern love, author Augusten Burroughs writes about his recent nuptials, describing that at one point he had fought back his romantic feelings with a machete because there were a thousand reasons why his attraction to the man who is now his husband was impossible. And then he wrote some of the coolest prose I've ever read:

"But impossible is a concept that makes one's heart laugh and throw peanuts at the television."

I absolutely love that line. I love being led by my heart. I love that my friend from New England followed his heart to the Midwest despite his misgivings about how it might work out.

I'm not gonna lie -- I'm not to the point where I love how it has worked out, but it's pretty clear what's going on here. My mind got it a long time ago, and my heart is finally coming to accept it.

Pondering this this morning, an apropos David Gray song started playing:

So I made up my mind
I made up my mind
Gonna move on ahead
Instead of lagging behind
Instead of lagging behind

I made up my mind....

I don't like this David Gray song nearly as much as I like his slower songs about being in love. And I don't like letting go of love as much as I like falling into it. I don't suppose anybody does.

But I have to trust that my heart will continue to guide me, eventually back to that falling in love space, and I love knowing that if I try to resist it, I can count on my heart to laugh and throw peanuts at the television...