Give Me Novacaine

I heard this song this afternoon and it reminded me of how I felt during my yoga class this morning:

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Yep, I felt like the last place I wanted to be was in my body, which you're kinda forced to be when you're in class and on the mat. I hadn't been to the studio since Monday evening because both my wrists and my neck were really bothering me. That, and I paid a visit to one of my favorite healers who reminded me that anything that becomes compulsive is more likely to be feeding the "must fix myself" rather than the "I make choices that are right for myself in the moment." And it had definitely gotten compulsive. I ignored for too long both my sore neck and the feeling that I was hurting myself in some of the poses because I "had" to practice six days per week.

I hope one day I'll be able to find discipline without compulsivity -- right now, I'm not sure I understand the relationship between the two. In any case, I decided to go back to the studio today, but chose a non-Ashtanga class with a different teacher (who just happens to be super hot and completely my type) hoping I'd catch a bit of a break.

It didn't go down that way. This teacher is very hands-on, and at one point, in a supine twist, he came over and pressed down on one shoulder and the opposite hip which felt awesome but also quickly started up the waterworks. I couldn't completely let 'er rip with the tears but I definitely had quite a release and felt completely different after class than I did before it.

That's right, yoga class was my own special version of Novacaine:

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright...