Sometimes I just plain marvel at all the changes I've been through in my life. The biggest one for me lately is that I finally feel ready to have a really, truly intimate relationship -- the kind where you really let someone in -- someone who is going to stay, and show up day after day, which means you need to stay and show up day after day too.
I didn't feel this way for a long, long time. Most of my life, in fact. So I chose people to have relationships with who either had parts of themselves completely hidden or who would go away from parts of themselves from time to time, thus leaving me the space to retreat, too. Those who wanted more -- including one of my best friends in college -- ended up moving on when they couldn't get what they wanted out of our friendship.
I don't want to keep my distance anymore. I want someone to share things with. Every day. It could be a friend or a lover. Or both. I'm open to a new friend, or a deepened friendship too. I just want someone with whom I can be all in -- and who will be all in with me.
One of my new friends -- from the yoga teacher training this summer -- sent me this song today. She's lovely, and we're very open with each other, which feels good. And it's her birthday today. So I'm dedicating today's post to her:
You say there is nothin' to hide
There is nothin' to change
Just look into my eyes
And there's no stuff too
And the wind goes round and it follows the back sides
We're running down roads and crossing track stones
Pay for the ticket, just enjoy the seconds
Run away another day
You keep it flying so high
But lock it down low so it feels right
Just look into the sky and it becomes you
Sweep young feel on a dark night
Lifting me up into arms tight
Open up my mind and it becomes you
Nobody seems to, nobody seems to
And it's times like these when you wish you weren't
A 8896 wishing bird
And nobody seems to fly at your level
Just go faster than the others
As for me, I hope very soon that there is someone who is, in fact, flying at my level, and my speed...
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I'm so glad I found the meaning to this song, because I'm going thur the same then when it comes to relationship and its sad... So you really opened up my eyes. Thank You I love the Song;))
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