Keep Your Head Up

Heard this song today:

I spent my time, watching
The spaces that have grown between us.
And I cut my mind on second best,
Oh the scars that come with the greenness.
And I gave my eyes to the boredom,
Still the seabed wouldn't let me in.
And I try my best to embrace the darkness
In which I swim.

Now walking back, down this mountain,
The strength of a turnin' tide.
Oh the wind so soft, and my skin,
Yeah the sun so hot upon my side.
Oh lookin' out at this happiness
I searched for between the sheets,
Oh feelin' blind, I realize,
All I was searchin' for, was me.
Oh oh-oh, all I was searchin' for was me.

And those last couple of lines really resonated. It's true, you know, all that stuff they say about self love. It's so huge and it's so essential and it's so grounding. But it can be so difficult to come by, particularly for those of us who didn't get to enjoy having our essential nature lovingly mirrored by our parents.

But it's worth all the hard work, because once you get there, it's a lot easier to follow Ben Howard's advice:

Oh yeah, keep your head up, keep your heart strong.
No, no, no, no, keep your mind set, keep your hair long.
Oh my, my darlin', keep your head up, keep your heart strong.
Na, oh, no, no, keep your mind set in your ways.
Keep your heart strong.
Now I saw a friend of mine, the other day,
And he told me that my eyes were gleamin'.
Oh I said I'd been away, and he knew...
Oh he knew the depths I was meanin'.
And it felt so good to see his face,
All the comfort invested in my soul,
Oh to feel the warmth, of his smile,
When he said, 'I'm happy to have you home.'
Oh oh-oh, I'm happy to have you home.

I've been struggling a bit this week, as I do from time to time, with that "it sucks to be a homeowner by myself and have to deal with my own scary basement" feeling. And it does in some ways. But in others, it's good to have so much time in which I'm only in charge of me. I reckon this period is helping me solidify that self-love so that the next time I do enter a relationship, I won't give so much of myself away:

Oh yeah, keep your head up, keep your heart strong.
No, no, no, no, keep your mind set, keep your hair long.
Oh my, my darlin', keep your head up, keep your heart strong.
No, no, no, no, keep your mind set in your ways.
Well keep your heart strong.

And maybe, just maybe, that'll mean I can keep my heart strong -- no more heartbreak -- and my hair long -- no more heartbreak haircuts (one of which I had in the summer of 2013).

Here's hoping!