Fight Test

I really, really like The Flaming Lips, but sometimes I forget about them. Luckily, ipod shuffle pulled this one out for me today:

I thought I was smart, I thought I was right
I thought it better not to fight
I thought there was a virtue in always being cool

So it came time to fight, I thought I'll just step aside
And that the time would prove you wrong
And that you would be the fool

I don't know where the sunbeams end
And that the starlights begin
It's all a mystery

Oh, to fight is to defend
If it's not now then tell me when would be the time
That you would stand up and be a man

For to lose I could accept
But to surrender I just wept
And regretted this moment, oh that I, I was the fool

I don't know where the sunbeams end
And that the starlights begin
It's all a mystery

And I don't know how a man decides
What's right for his own life
It's all a mystery

Cause I'm a man, not a boy
And there are things you can't avoid
You have to face them when you're not prepared to face them

Yes. This is what I need, Universe. A man who understands that last verse. And lives it:

If I could, I would
But you're with him, I'd do no good
I should have fought him but instead I let him, I let him take you

I was with him. But I'm not anymore. It's not easy, but it is freeing to come to a place of acceptance about what is:

And I don't know how a man decides
What's right for his own life
It's all a mystery

...and leave my ex alone to live his own life. Decide what's right for himself. That's not my job.

The test is over now

It's true. No more fighting it. Time to instead focus on unraveling the mystery of my own life...