The Brokenhearted

Just me chillin' at CamRock post-ride

After visiting my friend and her new baby on Saturday, I went mountain biking at CamRock. I had the trails all to myself -- except for the snakes, chipmunks, grasshoppers, toads, bunnies and woodchucks -- I guess all my fellow shredders were busy cheering on the Badgers. I LOVED having the woods to myself, and I had an excellent time.

When my thoughts traveled to my old mountain biking pal, I tried to remind myself to have my own experience, you know, be here now. And I mostly managed to do that.

I try to make sure the Universe knows, though, in no uncertain terms, that I am open to an encounter with a new mountain biking hottie whenever it's ready to put that in motion. Just in case this was my weekend, I packed not one but two Hopalicious in my cooler for after-ride refreshment.

Alas, it will not surprise you to learn that the fact that I enjoyed having the trails to myself also meant that there was no hot man to drink my other beer.

Which is ok. It really is. I know that this time is about being the one I love. I keep getting those reminders. And I'm mostly doing a pretty damn good job of doing just that.

So this morning when the Boss started playing after my meditation, this time this tune:

Well darling, oh won't you come a little closer
I promise pretty darling, I didn't know what I was saying
And now I'm praying that you won't say it's over
Come here pretty baby and rest your head upon my shoulder
Just one kiss and we started
Now don't leave me to the brokenhearted, the brokenhearted, the brokenhearted
And tell me that you need me

Well now baby, the lonely nights keep growing longer
And my love for you just keeps growing stronger
Like a wheel of chance so endlessly turning
My fate lay in your hands, my heart forever burning
In a sweet fire your kiss started
Now don't leave me to the brokenhearted, the brokenhearted, the brokenhearted
And tell me that you love me
Tell me that you want me, girl

The cruel mistakes I've made, the hard price that I've paid
For the good times and for laughter
Girl, I should've known for the indifference that I've shown
I'd pay forever after

And darling, now all I'm trying to say is passion
And love, they have a way of slipping into blackness
Uncared for of slipping away
The deck is cut, the cards turned, the hand is played
And all we ever hope for burns to ashes and drifts away
Now don't let our love slip into this darkness
Don't leave me to the brokenhearted, the brokenhearted, the brokenhearted
And tell me that you love me
Tell me that you need me
Tell me that you love me
Tell me that you want me
Tell me that you need me
Tell me that you want me
Tell me that you love me
Yeah tell me that you love me
Tell me that you love me
Tell me that you want me
And come on now daring
Say it right now baby
Say it right now darling
Tell me that you love me

I felt, for the moment at least, free from the grip of the loneliness that I can hear and feel in his voice. I can and I am telling myself that I love me, and I'm getting the message that I am loved from the Universe in myriad ways.

Not, mind you, in the super delicious way that is being wrapped up in the strong arms of someone like The Boss or The New Englander or the yummy, available, considerate, open, generous, warm, smart, fun, lovely man I'm gonna date next.

But I've been working out. I practice yoga six times a week. My arms are pretty buff. They'll do for the time being, during which I seem to still have work that I need to do on my own...