Follow Me

I'm not sure if it's the beautiful weather, the passage of a month since I left my love in Portland, the increased time I've spent playing in the woods (on my mountain bike), or some combination of all of these and more, but I've been feeling more upbeat this week than I have in quite some time.

So when I heard this song the other day:

You don't know how you met me
You don't know why
You can't turn around and say goodbye
All you know is when I'm with you
I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singin'

Follow me everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you
Want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

I felt the truth of the lyrics in what I like to believe is a self-possessed but not self-righteous way. And every day since I heard it, I keep hearing these particular lyrics over and over again:

And if you
Want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

It helps (but is also part of what is so heartbreaking) that my New Englander feels the same way. It also helps that I am still learning so much about love through the processing of this loss. Paradoxically, the more I allow myself to feel the love I have for him -- or maybe just the more I allow myself to feel the love I have -- the freer I feel:

You don't know how you met me
You don't know why
You can't turn around and say goodbye
All you know is when I'm with you
I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singin'

I don't know if I make him free, but I know that leaning into the love makes me free, and that, my friends, is the goal...