Alive

I remember singing this song, or maybe screaming would be a more accurate description, with my friend Mary at a Pearl Jam concert (similar to this one) many years ago:

"Is something wrong?" she said
Of course there is
"You're still alive," she said
Oh, and do I deserve to be?
Is that the question?
And if so...if so...who answers...who answers...?

I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, but, I'm still alive
Yeah I, ooh, I'm still alive
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

And now, here it is, some 15 years later, and I'm still alive, but she isn't. (It's a year to the day she died.) Something sure feels wrong about that, but it really wasn't up to me to decide.

So today, I'm going to be with my grief, but I'm also going to try to feel the gratitude that I am, indeed, still very much alive, and try to make the most of the time I've got left, however long that may be.

As for Mary, she remains very much alive in the hearts and the memories of all us lucky enough to love her...