Helter Skelter

It has been an interesting week so far. It's almost as if I've been a watchful observer of myself, and one of the things I've noticed is that I've let lots of the things that I sometimes feel I need in order for a day to be complete -- from bananas in the morning to a beer, a glass of wine, or a kombucha in the evening -- fall away. I haven't had any of those things in three days, and it isn't because I told myself I can't have them -- I've just for some reason chosen to break out of my normal patterns.

I've also been exercising and meditating a lot, and my house is really tidy. I'm not really sure I recognize this person. It's normal for me to have at least one of those self-care things going at all times, but the trifecta is definitely uncharacteristic.

To what do I attribute all of this? I don't know, I really don't. As I've blogged about in the past few days, I've been moving through some pretty intense feelings, so maybe through that shedding I'm uncovering a healthier, freer version of myself? Whatever it is that is happening, it hasn't been altogether comfortable, that's for sure. But I also haven't reached for any crutches, as I sometimes do when I get uncomfortable. Hmmmmm.

Pondering all this while cycling to work today, Bono chimed in:

When I get to the bottom

I go back to the top of the slide

Where I stop and turn

and I go for a ride

Till I get to the bottom and I see you again

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Do you or don't you want me to love you

I'm coming down fast but I'm miles above you

Tell me tell me tell me the answer...

I know, I know, it isn't U2's song -- it belongs to The Beatles -- and it's a damn fine song whoever is singing it!