I've Never Been to Me

This weekend I had the opportunity for two road trips with two of my favorite people on the planet -- my kids. Which means that the road trip didn't involve roadies, but it did involve one of my favorite driving CDs -- the soundtrack of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

As I sang along to one of my favorites on the album, my children listened intently, giggling about the goofy lyrics:

I've been undressed by kings

And I've seen some things

That a woman ain't supposed to see

I've been to paradise

But I've never been to me

That verse, both of them got. This one, thankfully, only the 11 year old:

I've spent my life exploring

The subtle whoring

That cost too much to be free

I've been to paradise

But I've never been to me

I discouraged him from explaining it to his sister, and as they razzed me for liking the song at all, I explained that it was about a woman who was feeling like her life was incomplete because she'd never had children. And I told them, as I often do, how grateful I am to be their mother.

Until very recently, I'd been feeling like I wanted to have another baby, in order to experience the family unity I didn't get to experience as a child myself or with my kids' father. Who knows? I may still have another baby, but if I do, it won't be to try to rewrite the past. And no matter what happens, I am going to continue to enjoy the children I already have, along with their evolving awarenesses...