Everything Zen

My son admitted the other day that he was struggling in a couple of his friendships. It seems that two of his closer friends have taken to watching violent and sexual videos on you tube and talking about them, which makes him really uncomfortable. He'd been wrestling with how to handle the situation and had finally broken down one night confiding the issue to his cat, which he often does. Luckily his Dad heard the tears, and over the next few days we did our best to help him handle the situation. Poor kid.

I told my man about the situation and this was the song that came to him. Looking up the lyrics, I could just hear my son wanting to shout at his friends:

Try to see it once my way

Everything zen

Everything zen

I don't think so

But at the same time not wanting to upset them or seem uncool. Today when we talked about it, he reported that he had used one of the strategies we'd come up with. During a playdate with one of the friends, he'd told him when the subject was brought up that he thought it was gross and didn't want to talk about it. And it worked! I was super proud of him and am hopeful that the tactic will continue to work.

Listening to this song, these are the lyrics I remember most:

There's no sex in your violence

There's no sex in your violence

I'm not sure I knew what they meant, exactly, when I used to sing along to this hit in the mid 90s; I mostly just liked the way it sounded. Now I think I get it, and I hope that both my kids will continue to share these sorts of crises as they inevitably emerge over the next decade or so of growing up and figuring things out.