Lucky You

Over the last 24 hours, I've watched two movies about lovers trying reconcile their love and their lives -- something my love and I grappled with and, at least for now, seem to have failed to do.

One of the movies was Like Crazy, which I found on Netflix; the other was Before Midnight, the third movie in Richard Linklater's trilogy that began with Before Sunrise. Neither was a brilliant film by any stretch of the imagination, but each had poignant scenes.

One such scene in Before Midnight was of a group at a dinner table, each discussing how they'd met their love or something significant about their relationship. One woman's husband had recently died, and she talked about how much she missed sleeping in the crook of his arm, how safe she felt there.

Having just lost my favorite place to feel safe -- not to death, mind you, but I've lost it just the same -- I teared up and put my head on the shoulder of my movie buddy. This woman talked about the fact that no matter how significant we are to another person or how significant they are to us, we're all just merely passing through this life.

After the movie, my friend and I went to one of our favorite post-cinema ristorantes and ordered an adult beverage, toasting to passing through. Then we came back to my house to do some yard work, and my friend talked about what he felt I'd both recognized I had in my love and what I had offered to him. I appreciated his assessment and it felt true to me, but it seems not to have mattered, ultimately, and that's pretty discouraging.

None of the songs from either movie really stuck with me or expressed this feeling of having found a true love and failing to find a way to make your lives fit together, but this song, which I heard in the car on the drive home from the cabin, does so beautifully:

Every time you get a drink
And every time you go to asleep
All those dreams inside your head
Is there sunlight on your bed
And every time you're driving home
Way outside your safety zone
Wherever you will ever be
You're never getting rid of me

You own me
There's nothing you can do
You own me

You coulda made a safer bet
But what you break is what you get
You wake up in the bed you make
I think you made a big mistake

You own me
There's nothing you can do
You own me
You own me
Lucky you

You own me
There's nothing you can do

You clean yourself to meet
The man who isn't me
You're putting on a shirt
A shirt I'll never see
The letter's in your coat
But no one's in your head
Cause you're too smart to remember
You're too smart
Lucky you

Powerful, eh? And if you think the words alone are powerful -- listen to The National singing it. I have, about 14 times. It's just lovely.