El Condor Pasa

When I was at the gym today to teach yoga, I remembered that every year the owner leaves $20 in all the employees' mailboxes to say thank you and Merry Christmas. It's not a lot of money, but I didn't have any plans, so I decided to see if I could take myself to dinner and a movie on it.

This past year, or maybe the year before, I read the book Wild and loved it, so I've been excited to see the movie.

It did not disappoint. In fact, it was positively cathartic for where I am in my life right now, which is at a place of acceptance about being apart from the man with whom I thought for sure I'd spend the rest of my life. The movie helped remind me that this actually happens a lot -- including to the author, who gets divorced from her first husband even though they love each other deeply. It happens, I am now telling myself. It's not just you. You don't have to take this personally. You can just accept that sometimes you get to choose and sometimes you don't.

This song, from the movie's phenomenal soundtrack, is a great reminder of that too:

I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
Yes I would
If I could, I surely would
Hmm mmm

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
Yes I would
If I only could, I surely would
Hmm mmm

Away, I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here and gone
A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world its saddest sound, its saddest sound
Hmm mmm

I'd rather be a forest than a street
Yes I would
If I could, I surely would

I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet
Yes I would
If I only could, I surely would

For today, I can still feel the earth beneath my feet. It's chilly at the moment, but I can feel it. And that connection is all I need to keep healing.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't report that I also managed to buy myself dinner with the rest of my cash: Chile Verde from Pasqual's, one of my faves...