Take Me To Church

This song came to me in the wee hours. It was the chorus I heard -- I actually thought it was Elton John when I heard it this morning, but when I got up I realized it was decidedly NOT Elton John:

My lover's got humour
She's the giggle at a funeral
Knows everybody's disapproval
I should've worshipped her sooner

If the heavens ever did speak
She's the last true mouthpiece
Every Sunday's getting more bleak
A fresh poison each week

'We were born sick, ' you heard them say it

My Church offers no absolutes
She tells me, 'Worship in the bedroom.'
The only heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you—

I was born sick,
But I love it
Command me to be well
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

I love the way he sings amen. Here comes the Elton John like part:

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

If I'm a pagan of the good times
My lover's the sunlight
To keep the Goddess on my side
She demands a sacrifice

Drain the whole sea
Get something shiny
Something meaty for the main course
That's a fine looking high horse
What you got in the stable?
We've a lot of starving faithful

That looks tasty
That looks plenty
This is hungry work

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
Offer me my deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

No Masters or Kings
When the Ritual begins
There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene
Only then I am Human
Only then I am Clean
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

A lot of times I know what the message is when I wake up with a song in my head. Or at least, I figure out when I read the lyrics. This time, I'm really not sure. Did I worship like a dog at the shrine of someone's lies? Maybe. Kinda. Sorta? Or is it suggesting I turn control of my life over to the God of my understanding? I dunno.

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

I do know that today I didn't feel nearly as upbeat as I did yesterday and the day before that, but when I was talking to my friend tonight I told her that I have faith that I am going to get through this grieving process. I'm gonna come out the other side. I have no doubt about this now. And that's something, even if it was hard to drag my ass out of the house to go to a party tonight. Fake it 'til you make it. That's what I have to keep doing, and having faith that eventually it's going to lead somewhere good helps even on the rough days...