I've Been Loving You Too Long

I love this song. It's beautiful, and it's the best take I know on why people stay in relationships, including marriages, way beyond the point where their needs are being met:

I've been loving you too long to stop now

You are tired and you want to be free

My love is growing stronger, as you become a habit to me

Oh I've been loving you a little too long

I dont wanna stop now, oh

So why do people stay, even when the day-to-day experience is characterized by slow movement in opposite directions:

You are tired and your love is growing cold

My love is growing stronger as our affair [affair] grows old

...which isn't easy for either person? Because letting go is hard.

But I'm here to tell you that 1) You don't ever have to stop loving someone, you just sometimes need to learn to live without the physical manifestation of the closeness and make room for the possibility that someone else can give you that; and 2) When you emerge on the other side of the really difficult process of letting go, the new love that awaits, informed and strengthened as it is by the loss, means that no matter how long or how awful the period of time was that you spent in the phase when the love had grown cold, you get to bask in the hot sun again.

The original is totally brilliant, and so many fabulous artists have covered it. For me, maybe the most poignant of these is Ike and Tina's version.

And yes, I see the irony that yesterday's post was focused on the upside of staying together and today's is showcasing the downside... Here's hoping after twenty years with this one I'll be singing still the one and not about his love growing cold!