Guts Over Fear

This weekend's yoga workshop was at the Farm!

I love Eminem. When I was at my rawest when I left my husband, it was Eminem who soothed my soul more than any other artist. Maybe because I could just feel that he gets what it's like to lose something and because he's such a good model for how that also makes you more:

Feels like a close, it's coming to
Fuck am I gonna do?
It's too late to start over
This is the only thing I, thing I know

Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is
Find different ways to word the same, old song
Ever since I came along
From the day the song called "Hi! My Name Is" dropped
Started thinking my name was fault
Cause any time things went wrong
I was the one who they would blame it on

I'm not quite as raw as I was back then, but processing all this old childhood stuff has left me pretty exposed. When I feel that way, I'd much rather stay in bed than get up and go to an all day yoga workshop, even if one of my very favorite teachers (pictured here) has come up from Chicago to teach us as he did this weekend.

The unofficial leader of our practice group made arrangements for the workshop to be held this time at Lucky Dog Farm in New Glarus. What a magical place! After our morning Mysore practice, we went into town to the Lucky Dog Farmers' new restaurant, Cow and Quince. So yummy!

All of this turned out to be well worth me pushing myself when I wasn't comfortable -- or as my boy Eminem and his girl Sia would say -- putting guts over fear:

Afraid to make a single sound
Afraid I will never find a way out
Afraid I'd never be found
I don't wanna go another round
An angry man's power will shut you up
Trip wires fill this house with tip-toed love
Run out of excuses for everyone
So here I am and I will not run
Guts over fear (the time is near)
Guts over fear (I shed a tear)
For all the times I let you push me around
And let you keep me down
Now I got guts over fear, guts over fear

That I do. And I have so much gratitude for the practice that has given me the container in which to continue working with my fear even when it doesn't feel like I have the guts. Like today. Because every time I roll out my mat, literally every time, guts win another victory over fear. And I like it when the good guys win...