Too Long

The beautiful red maple in my backyard

If I thought it was hard to get myself to yoga yesterday, it was sooooooo much harder this morning. I felt so much resistance. But I was committed, and I believe in the practice as a path of liberation, even when, or maybe especially when, it's not comfortable.

Not surprisingly, I had some big releases at practice, and as a special bonus, I got to spend the afternoon on the couch checking out the beautiful tree pictured here.

The ipod today dialed up this tune, which I thought was appropriate for a couple of reasons. First, my yoga teacher was talking to us this weekend about being present, and how that involves not having an eye on the future. That tree, he said, isn't dreading the moment when all its leaves fall to the ground. That's unique to humans.

And the second reason it feels appropriate is that the Alanon meeting I went to tonight was about the iterative nature of the healing process. We talked about how sometimes, it can feel in an instant like you haven't learned anything because you find yourself responding from the old place or having to relearn the same lesson over again. When this happens, there can be some frustration, and a feeling that the healing is taking too long:

It's been much too long, I feel it comming on
The feeling is getting strong
It's been much too long, I feel it comming on
The feeling is in my bones

Too long, can you feel it, too long, oh can you feel it
Too long, can you feel it, too long, oh can you feel it

At last the long wait is over
the weight is off my shoulder
I'm taking all control
My mind is set so free

I'm where I want to be
To get the best of me

Too long, can you feel it, too long, oh can you feel it
Too long, can you feel it, too long, oh can you feel it

I see, you feel the way I do, the feeling all so true
the good feelings coming through
My mind is set so free
I'm where I want to be, to get the best of me

You know you need it, I need it too
you know you need it, it's good for you
We're gonna move
You know you need it, I need it too
you know you need it

It's good for you

Yes, it is. Even when it doesn't feel good, the healing process is good for you. And while it might seem like it is taking too long, it's actually taking exactly as long as it needs to take...