Don't You Wanna Stay

Here I am pre-ride, before my feet were numb!

I heard this song yesterday in the car on my way home from Fermenation Fest, and it came back to me this morning in the wee hours:

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?

Yes, once again, I'm up earlier than I want to be, but I'm trying to just accept that maybe there's a reason for it. Time to write, perhaps?

Speaking of writing, I've begun my third attempt at writing a Modern Love column about my romance with the New Englander. I think the problem the first couple of times I tried to write it was I didn't know what the message or takeaway is. That could still be a problem, because I'm still a little confused, but this time around, I'm gonna own the confusion instead of pretending I get it.

You see, earlier this year, on MLK Jr. day, I asked him what his dream was, and he said: "You mean besides going to sleep and waking up next to Archie?"

That melted my big old heart, but it begs the question: What happened to that dream?

Close-up of the bean/bottle cap art

Did it change? I don't think so. Because I could feel in Portland just how sure our bodies and our hearts are about each other:

I really hate to let this moment go
Touching your skin, and your hair falling slow
When a goodbye kiss, feels like this

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way
Don't you wanna stay?

Let's take it slow, I don't wanna move too fast
I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last
When you're up this high, it's a sad goodbye

Yes it is. Take it from me.

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way
Don't you wanna stay?

Oh yeeah

Oh, you feel so perfect, baby
Yeah, you feel so perfect, baby

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?

I reckon a big part of him did, but the fear won out over the love.

Having that dream would've meant working through the fear, and he didn't have it in him, at least not at that point in his life.

Thankfully, I'm not going to let that happen in my own life. I'm going to fight for my dreams. I may not get to control who I spend my life with, but I can control whether I choose to be guided by fear or by love.

And I'm gonna choose love every single time...