High On You

High On You, Kid Style: Getting the Leaves Off the Roof

Driving home yesterday from my nephew's birthday celebration, my daughter and I found an awesome radio station that seemed to play one old cheesy number for mom followed by one more current cheesy number for daughter.

I got especially excited about hearing this one again:

There you stood, that'll teach her
To look so good and feel so right
Let me tell you about
The girl I met last night

It's understood, I had to reach her
I let the wheel of fortune spin
I touched your hand before
The crowd started crashin' in

Now I'm higher than a kite
I know I'm getting hooked on your love
Talkin' to myself, runnin' in the heat
Beggin' for your touch
In the middle of the street

And I, I can't stop thinkin' about you, girl
I must be livin' in a fantasy world
I'm so high on you

Smart and coy, a little crazy
The kind of face that starts a fight
Let me tell you about
The girl I had last night

Piercin' eyes, like a raven
You seemed to share my secret sin
We were high before
The night started kickin' in

Now I'm screamin' in the night
I know I'm getting hooked on your love
Talkin' to myself, runnin' in the heat
Beggin' for your touch
In the middle of the street

And I just kinda drove with the feeling of how much I miss being loved by a man in the physical plane. I get that there's a reason for this time to myself. I do. And I know that it will come to an end at the right time for me, in whatever way is best for me. I'm not in control of this process. I could try to take control, as I have in the past, by trying to arbitrarily stop feeling what I'm feeling or finding someone else to scratch the itch for me. But I don't see either of those roads as leading to liberation. I've been down them both before, and I can tell you they did not lead anywhere good.

So I'm going to hang in with the discomfort and stay with the process this time as best I can. Sorry Survivor, but this girl lived in a fantasy world for much of her life. It saved her, but it was ultimately an empty, lonely place to be, and now she's breaking out:

And I, I can't stop thinkin' about you, girl
I must be livin' in a fantasy world
I've searched the whole world over
To find a heart so true
Such complete intoxication
I'm high on you
I'm high on you
I'm high on you

Riding home from my yoga practice this morning, I started singing this song aloud, and I realized that maybe it's my heart I've searched the whole world over to find.

At the end of my group each week, the group leader reads the following message from the Hopi Elders, who would suggest that is indeed the case:

"There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.
See who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt. The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration. We are the ones we've been waiting for..."