Silent All These Years

It's funny how we humans can be confident in some arenas and totally lack confidence in others, or really articulate on some topics or with some people and much less so with others. Often the uncertainty, or fear, comes up either with something or someone new, or with something or someone that comes attached to the weight of something heavy from our past. To get to a place of certainty and confidence, we have to feel supported -- without that measure of safety -- growth is difficult if not impossible.

Because of the weight attached to some events in my past and my inability to feel and express myself freely when I was a little girl, it has always been harder for me to communicate in the context of a romantic relationship. And until recently, the combination of lacking certainty about myself and the lack of support being offered in the romantic relationships I was choosing added up to little growth in that department. This morning I felt the possibility of that shifting.

On my bike ride to yoga class, I heard these words sung by this powerful little woman:

Hey but I don't care

Cause sometimes

I said sometimes

I hear my voice, I hear my voice, I hear my voice

And it's been here

Silent All These Years

And, having arrived at class, as the teacher talked about feeling the earth's support beneath us and having that support allow us to let go, I felt grateful that I am no longer silent, and that I can feel the support of the earth and so many of its delightful inhabitants.