This Woman's Work

I woke up early this morning, head pounding after one two many two-hearted ales (which for me means two) last night, with this song floating through my subconscious and landing in my conscious mind.

I think it's here for a couple of reasons. One, I've been recently made aware of the need to allow more feminine energy into my life, and was led last night to a yoga class that was taught by a woman who is powerfully harnessing her goddess energy. That woman has found her work. I can only imagine what would have happened if I'd walked into her class a year ago -- I wouldn't have been able to stay present to it and absorb it the way I did last night. (Though my level of discomfort might have something to do with the multiple imbibing that took place during my meal out after the class.) That's alright though -- I don't have to do it all at once -- baby steps...

Which is a good segue into reason number two. Before I got married, I always saw myself with four children, but I married a man who wanted only two. We compromised on three, but by the time we had our second child I was feeling the need to close the baby factory for repairs.

It's back in action now though, and the universe has been letting me know in big and small ways that I can indeed have another baby -- all I have to do is put it out there that that's what I want -- so that's what I'm doing. And I'm trying to do it not by having regrets about the past or by needing to control the future:

Of all the things we should've said,

That were never said.

All the things we should've done,

That we never did.

All the things that you needed from me.

All the things that you wanted for me.

All the things that I should've given,

But I didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go away.

Just make it go away now.

Sometimes I'm more successful at doing that than others -- and once again I see where the second ale came in last night -- my very own little effort to make it go away...