Bohemian Rhapsody

I realize this probably isn't a conventional choice for mother's day, but it pretty well summarizes both where I've been on this mother's day.

The day began, too early, in a semi-comfortable hotel room bed in Wisconsin Dells, where I'd taken my daughter and two of her friends to celebrate her birthday. Upon arrival at the hotel/waterpark, I saw a sign making reference to it being a vacation -- but it was decidedly not a vacation for me:

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide, (or a waterslide)

No escape from reality

Definitely not an easy place for me to stay grounded. And then, upon leaving the waterpark, the plan was for me to drop my daughter off and pick up my son for a little mother's day bonding. Except, on arrival, I found a son who hadn't made me anything for mother's day (as far as I'm concerned it's the father's job to remind the child, even if they aren't still together), and who said, when I asked if he wanted to go for a hike with me, that he'd rather just stay there. With his Dad and his Dad's new girlfriend. On mother's day.

Ouch:

Mama, ooh, Didn't mean to make you cry...

And I'm sure he didn't, but all that pain makes me want to run away and cease from being in a world of feeling:

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,

Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come,

Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time...

But instead of checking out, I went home and did some good old fashioned releasing of anger and sadness of the variety that ex-husbands are so good at bringing to bear:

So you think you can love me and leave me to die

Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby...

And then I did a series of things that also helped. I napped. I commiserated with a friend who is going through a divorce. I taught a yoga class. I talked with a friend afterward. I ate some pasta. I talked to the most amazing man ever -- yep, I get to talk to him almost every day -- he's my boyfriend. I talked to an old friend. And now, I'm going to crawl into bed.