How

I love Regina Spektor! Got a girl crush on her on the order of the one I had on Amy Winehouse -- guess I go for the dark-haired ladies with lovely voices (in principle if not in practice)...

Home late last night from dinner with my gay boyfriend at one of our fave new restaurants: Pig in a Fur Coat, I crawled in bed with myself, missed crawling in bed with my man, and stumbled on this little gem:

How can I forget your love?
How can I never see you again?
There’s a time and place
For one more sweet embrace
And there's a time, ooh
when it all, ooh
Went wrong
I guess you know by now
That we will meet again somehow...

I sure hope so.

Since the three of us used to ride and dine together, the missing person was the subject of a fair amount of conversation. My friend, enamored of my new haircut, half-marathoner's bod and fetching ensemble complete with gifted-brand-spanking-new Fly London shoes, said something very sweet to me: "I'm not saying the train has left the station but I'm saying it's not going to be here long with you looking like this!" Which was wonderful to hear, of course, but Regina's a little more up on where I am with that prospect emotionally:

Oh baby
How can I begin again?
How can I try to love someone new?
Someone who isn’t you
How can our love be true?
When I’m not, ooh
I’m not over you

I guess you know by now
That we will meet again somehow

Time can come and take away the pain
But I just want my memories to remain
To hear your voice
To see your face
There’s not one moment I’d erase
You are a guest here now

Love that last verse, but that last line kills me.

So baby
How can I forget your love?
How can I never see you again?

I'm not even ready for those questions. I may never be ready for those questions. I may not ever need to be ready for those questions.

The questions I'm dealing with are more along the lines of how am I going to crawl in bed without you again tonight? How am I going to wake up without you? How am I going to have another kidless Sunday without you? How am I going to deal with you saying you'll call and then not calling?

How indeed. I'll tell you how: I'm going to crawl in bed with my computer, find amazing songs like this, shed a few tears, and then fall asleep. I'm going to wake up early, meet up with a friend, run 13 miles and then go to a yoga class. I'm going to take a 3 hour nap in the middle of the day, wake up, make myself dinner and sit on the couch and watch a chick flick on Netflix with our bunny. I'm going to feel a little hurt and a little let down and then I'm going to talk to a friend instead.

That's how I'm going to deal with the only questions I have to deal with today, and that's how I'm going to get through this, one day at a time, answering only the questions that present themselves...