Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times: I love me some Meatloaf. Yep, I know he's the king of cheese. Yep, I know he ain't easy on the eyes. But I love him anyway.

When I walked into the gym today, this classic was humming from the speakers in the locker room:

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't gettin us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There's nothing left inside of here
And maybe you can cry all night
But that'll never change the way that I feel
The snow is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn't make me leave here
I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long
I'm crying icicles instead of tears
And all I can do
Is keep on telling you
I want you (I want you)
I need you (I need you)
But-there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad (Don't be sad)
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad (Cause)
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

Now I warned you that his lyrics were cheesy (if you didn't already know), but he always throws in some nuggets of wisdom, and this verse has a good one:

You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you're looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks
But there ain't no Coup de Ville
Hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box
I can't lie
I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not
No matter how I try
I'll never be able
To give you something
Something that I just haven't got

See? He speaks the truth in those last few lines for sure.

Here's where he really starts to tug on the heartstrings:

There's only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many years ago
And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back
Ooh I know
I remember how she left me on a stormy night
She kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away
And she kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
I want you (I want you)
I need you (I need you)
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad (Don't be sad)
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

Don't listen to her, Meatloaf. Two out of three sucks!

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere...

Like Meatloaf and his long ago love, my man and I reached the point where we could talk all night but it wasn't getting us anywhere. He wasn't happy here and wasn't sure he wanted the life with me I was offering him. I wasn't happy that he wasn't able to more fully embrace moving in and getting hitched.

With him, I too had two out of three: he wanted me, oh yes, definitely and deliciously, and he loved me (still does), truly and completely, but he didn't need me. I knew it, and it bothered me, and I suppose I told myself some version of two out of three ain't bad, but neither my man nor I are two out of three ain't bad kind of people. I think that's a big reason he left.

And today, I feel like I turned a corner. From denial to acceptance: He's not my man anymore.

Here is what I know and accept to be true today:

1) I had nearly three years in a romantic relationship with a phenomenal human being, two of which I got to spend mostly by his side (mmmmm). As a result of the time I spent with him, I am more fully able to love. Myself. My children. Men. My parents. And I'll always be grateful for that.

2) Despite our extremely powerful heart, mind, body and soul connection, our needs as individuals and current life circumstances mean that we're choosing not to remain romantic partners. This may be difficult, but it feels better if I don't act like it's happening to me and I have no power. I have power here, and I'm using it to say very clearly that I need my lover physically present and all in. I understand that he cannot be physically present or all in, at least not now, and thus I choose not to remain his lover.

3) While I've had to grieve both the loss of what he and I did have and the dream of what I wanted for him and for us, I'm fortunate to be able to hold on to many of the wonderful aspects of him and of our relationship. We are still capable, and we still do, connect on a heart level, both as individuals, and as family, with my kids. And I know that we will continue to do that into the future. For this, too, I am profoundly grateful, and so are my children.

4) I'm going for three out of three this time, and that feels good. Riding my bike out to teach this evening, I decided I'm going to work on my list a bit to ensure that the next person I choose to have a romantic relationship with is as much fun to be around, and as good in bed, as the last person. That's right, I'm gonna date another mountain biker, or someone with the same physical prowess and adventurousness. I could use an excuse to get back on that bike anyway -- I miss it.

Two out of three ain't bad? Get out of here. It's three out of three for this girl! I've worked too hard, come too far, and gotten too close to settle for anything less...